Step one: Control
Why even vote anymore at this point. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
First step is to sign over all your rights as a board or commitee:
Incase you forget to address this we have you covered
No authority given, means full authority taken. gotchya :)
2. A little for me, a little for you
We need to impress our friends so we have budgeted for this. Strata logic and David Terry have go this covered! Don't forget to leave a little extra in the account for our Christmas Gifts of course.
Don't forget our christmas gifts and entertainment budget
Need More Bills?
We tip our hat to the guys at Civium who are coming up with ingenious methods to keep you bankrupt. ts so simple you wouldn't believe it, we literally just start sending you invoices for works on other properties. We have even been known to throw a few extra water bills in your name to keep you guessing. As a ground rule, if you expect to pay around 4k a year in strata, just add another 0 and you might be in the ballpark.
But we do make sure to allow you the chance to make a payment plan of course. We will also make sure to reject that plan too.
Besides, Teys and Pica Group can't be having all the fun.
How to choose our Kickbacks
If you don't want us getting kickbacks, just sign up with one of our own companies and we will can sort kickbacks to ourself anyway :)
Positive Community Environment Created
This ensures your strata agent can get that extra bag on saturday night
Strata values your cash
We appreciate your cooperation. Don't forget if you cant afford our 20%, we will bankrupt you and take your house :) happy holidays!
Civium kicks hard!
Check out this Civium contract. The options for insurance kickbacks are perfect.
Making sure we aren't responsible
Next step we make sure we are covered. Because this way when you want to sue someone, you can sue yourself. brilliant
Invinicibility
We are gods amongst men
suckers :)
Good luck
See the genius behind us having no responisility is, ecause we are acting for the owners corporation with its full authority. We can do as we please and your going to have to sue yourself if you dont like it.
Strata services helped really bring me back to earth and appreciate what I had. I used to have 4 houses and a family. I now sleep in an alley way behind Coles carpark.
Satisfied Customer
★★★★★
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